Sunset Surprise...

There's something magical about the light at sunset. The way it seems to make everyone look 10 years younger, hides blemishes, deepens suntans, and saturates the whole world with warm apricot. It was during such a sunset that I found myself strolling down the beach with my friend Michelle the other day. It was a stunning piece of beach, where the mouth of a river estuary joins the sea and the two opposing tides battle for right of way. The tide was out, and the stretch of unmarked sand was practically deserted, save for a few romantic couples taking hand in hand strolls and enjoying the sunset.

I stopped for a moment to take a photo of this beautiful piece of natural watercolour art in the sky before continuing to stroll aimlesslessly up the beach. Then I realised that i no longer had my slippers (flip-flops). Realising that i must have put them down to take the photo, I turned around and scanned the beach where I guessed they must be. Imagine my surprise when I saw, in exactly the spot where my slippers should have been, a man squatting and taking a shit smack bang in the middle of the beach! Now I've seen some fairly public shitting in my time in india, but even when people shit in the road, they always use the SIDE of the road! This guy had chosen without a doubt the most exposed, open, and visible part of the beach possible. Add to that the fact that he had not bothered to dig a hole. Add to that the fact that he was in the process of creating an ihumanly large pile of shit that would have put a horse to shame. Finally, consider the fact that he is doing this apparantly ON my slippers and you can understand my surprise.

But what to do? Even from the distance at which I was stood I could already see more than I wanted to. There was no way I was going to walk up to him mid crap and ask for my slippers back! So, I did what any normal person would do: I started taking photos. I got a few real crackers. Very artistic framing and everything! So anyway, after he finished creating his mountain of poo, he held his trousers round his ankles and waddled down to the sea to wash his arse. I saw my chance and headed back to reclaim my slippers. You should have seen the look on his face as, returning from the sea, he sees me making a beeline for his pile of poo! Obviously oblivious to the presence of my slippers, which turn out to be about 2 feet from his turd, he must think I am moving in for a close-up inspection! Holding my nose i make a grab for the slippers and run away as fast as I can, the haunting image of his mega-shit following me like a bad smell..... :)

posted by Billy at 8:40 AM